I've been reflecting a lot lately. My husband and I were talking about how far we've come one night a couple of weeks ago after I found out about my job, and then my bloggy friend Amy posted about how everything changes recently. Seems like it's on everyone's mind these days. Is it the milestone birthday I and a lot of my friends have had/will be having this year? Is it the new decade? I don't know, but change is definitely in the air.
It's amazing, really. Everyone likes to think they have their lives all mapped out and they think they know where they will be a few years down the road. But SURPRISE! They don't have a clue. I don't have a clue. You don't have a clue. NO ONE has a clue. When I think about how drastically my life has changed over the last 5 to 6 years, it's actually kind of scary. Is it possible that it could continue its unpredictable pattern? Could my life be as different 5 years from now as it was 5 years ago? I hope not. I feel like I'm where I'm really supposed to be, and I feel extremely blessed to be here.
It was 2004 when my life path took an unexpected turn. My grandmother passed away in January of that year. That in itself was devastating. Then in March my ex-husband left me. He decided marriage wasn't for him. Turns out it interfered too much with HIS life plan of being a bar-hopping, alcoholic, broke-ass loser. At the time, I was a full-time student and only worked part-time. Obviously I couldn't afford to keep the house. Had to sell it. Then in July my best friend and sanity-keeper moved to Germany with her new husband. Not long after that, my employer decided she couldn't afford to keep me anymore. In the span of a few months, I lost my grandmother, my husband, my home, my best friend, and my job. And a lot of myself. Somewhere in all that--and I can't be sure exactly where--I lost myself too. It all kinda messed with my head, ya know? But after a couple of years of rebellion and bad decisions, I finally got myself back together and came out of it all a much stronger person with a better perspective on everything.
And my husband's story is not any prettier, but I won't go into all his personal details. If he wants the world to know all his shiz he can start his OWN blog!
Long story short, we found each other. I am now with the love of my life, a man who loves me, appreciates me, and supports me in everything I do, we are financially stable, and I love my job. Since 2004, I've gone from mediocrity to rock bottom to being on top of the world. While it hasn't always been pleasant, it was worth every heartache to get to where I am now. Change is scary and difficult, but if you keep your head in the game the end result can be what you make of it. Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anybody can start today and make a new ending.Labels: change